Day 9 (Phase 2 ) - Old red eyes is back! - before and after pictures posted

Click on this link to see the evidence...but please be careful, not a pretty sight!

http://jc-stuff.blogspot.com/2007/12/before-and-after-shots-oh-dear.html

And hopefully for the last time......

Title: Old red eyes is back

Artist: Beautiful south

Album:0898

Year: 1992

Old Red eyes is back

Red from the night before the night before

Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door

Old Red's in town

And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound

Just adding to the wrinkles on his deathly frown

They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed

They're only red from all the women that I could've wed

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Listen up Old Red

You never listened to a word the doctor said

He told you if you drank another you'd be dead

Old Red Eyes is back

His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore

He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw

They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head

They're only red from all the things I could have done instead

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Blue is a street without an end

Red is the colour of my hell

Blue is a greeting from a friend

Red is the colour of farewell

Old Red he died

And every single landlord in the district cried

An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side

A lazy little tear running from each eye

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Day 7 (Phase 2) - Starting to kick the habit

Well one week into route to management and back to some food. What is it like? Strange is the best description I can give. I am getting lots of sensations and feelings which are different to what I felt before.

For instance, I am not as hungry as I thought I would be, I feel "full" after a plate of salad leaves and a small piece of grilled tuna, strange feelings I am not accustomed to. I am not sure how to interpret these yet but I hope these are signs that I am coming to terms with the addiction that is my lifestyle, overeating and over consuming alcohol.

Of interest, I have started to read a great book called "Eating less, say goodbye to overeating" by Gillian Riley. This book makes a lot of good sense and talks of eating and drinking as addictions which are to be handled. Helpful and useful stuff.

The concept of weigh gain being the 'symptom' not the 'cause', this being over eating, is a better way of looking at things and fits into my view of what I am trying to achieve.

Anyway, along to LL for a weekly check and weigh in. What will it reveal?

Well, I have not gained weight, in fact I have lost a little more (1.5lb to be precise). This is interesting as I feel rather good, both in terms of my satisfaction with food, but also with myself for getting through this week with increased confidence on what lies ahead with management.

I think of this song as one about addiction, which is appropriate as I feel I am conquering my addiction to food and drink in the change process I am in.

Title: Happiness is a warm gun

Artist: The Beatles

Album: White album

Year: 1968

She's not a girl who misses much

Do do do do do do do do

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand

Like a lizard on a window pane

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots

Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime

A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the Nation Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

Down to the bits that I left uptown

I need a fix cause I'm going down

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the

Happiness is a warm gun

Happiness is a warm gun

When I hold you in my arms

And I feel my finger on your trigger

I know no one can do me no harm

Because happiness is a warm gun

Yes it is

Day 1 (Phase 2) - This is the time ( phase 2 of my life plan)

So after the momentous day yesterday I embark on phase 2 of my life changing plan. The 'route to management', where I learn and understand the basis for maintaining and living with a way of life in respect of food and drink in a practical way.

I will be eating 'real food' for the first time tonight, in the form of a small tin of tuna chunks, but the significance of this moment cannot be lost.

This new phase brings a renewed determination and re-sets the bar to a new goal for me. I am up for the challenge and ready to fight for my new life.

This is indeed the time.....

Title: This is the time

Artist: Billy Joel

Album: The bridge

Year: 1986

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel

They're tearing it down now

But it's just as well

I haven't shown you everything a man can do

So stay with me baby

I got plans for you

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life

Some kind of miracle that I survived

Some day we will both look back

And have to laugh

We lived through a lifetime

And the aftermath

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

I know we've gotta move somehow

But I don't want to lose you now

Sometimes it's so easy to let a day slip on by

Without even seeing each other at all

But this is the time you'll turn back to and so will I

And those will be days you can never recall

And so we embrace again behind the dunes

This beach is so cold on winter afternoons

Ah, but holding you close is like holding the summer sun

I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

But now I need the rest of you

Day 112 - I don't know how I'm gonna tell you

I have spent the last two weeks preparing myself for moving to 'management' and returning to eating food again! Whilst I have a good view on how and what to manage my drink intake, food is still a concern and area of the unknown to me.

I don't know how I will feel and how I will react to the changes I know I need to make to my eating habits. Actually, it is not that I don't know, it is more that I don't know if I will get satisfaction and be happy with this. I find this quite scary actually. For the first time since I started the program, I have a few doubts on my long term ability to manage my life in this respect.

It is these concerns that makes me certain that I will run the full 'route to management' course with LL as I think I will need support and someone to bounce ideas off and give me suggestions on ways to manage this process of change.

What I do know is that I am ready for a change in my program and ready to embark on a new phase to my life change program. Having started sceptical about 'abstinence' and whether I could lost what I needed, I have proven to myself that I can do that, so I am ready for a new challenge. This is the one.

Anyway, after a two week break (as I was away for last week's weigh in) I was looking forward to seeing where I was this week, from a weight perspective. So......

The good news is I have lost a further 7.7lb and now have lost over 6 stone and my weight is below 12.5 stone and my BMI is 24.87, i.e. in the NORMAL range for the first time in many many years! Hooray!

Moving into 'route to management' after today and learning how to say to food and drink "I can't play with you no more" .

Before/after photos coming next week!

Title: That's the way
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: Led Zeppelin III
Year: 1970

I don't know how I'm gonna tell you,
I can't play with you no more,
I don't know how I'm gonna do what mama told me,
My friend, the boy next door.
I can't believe what people saying,
You're gonna let your hair hang down,
I'm satisfied to sit here working all day long,
You're in the darker side of town.

And when I'm out I see you walking,
Why don't your eyes see me?
Could it be you've found another game to play,
What did mama say to me?

That's The Way,
Oh, That's The Way it oughtta be, yeah, yeah, Mama say
That's The Way it oughtta stay, yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh

And yesterday I saw you standing by the river,
And weren't those tears that filled your eyes?
And all the fish that lay in dirty water dying,
Had they got you hypnotized?

And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers,
But all that lives is born to die.
And so I say to you that nothing really matters,
And all you do is stand and cry.

I don't know what to say about it,
When all your ears are turned away,
But now's the time to look and look again at what you see,
Is that the way it ought to stay?

That's the way...
That's the way it oughtta be, oh don't you know now,
Mama said, mama said... that's the way it's gonna stay, yeah. ahh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhh

Day 98 - Hello old friend

This week has been a little different. Felling a little tired at times and so wondering is this was my apnoea back or whether it was just the weight loss program.

Anyway, got the results from the sleep clinic and hear I now have only 'slight' apnoea which is a change for where I was, which was seriously bad apnoea. So maybe it is just the way things are.

Also, feeling the cold really bad this week, unlike my 'old' self. Hello 'cold' friend!

Going well at the gym now with around 3 visits a week and my BPM is coming down each visit and strangely I am enjoying it! The feeling of euphoria after the work out and then sauna and steam room is fabulous, all the endorphins rushing around...lovely.

Anyway, weigh in and I lost a further 3.3lb, which takes my net weight down to under 13 stone which is lower than I can ever remember since I was a lad and just married.

As such this chnage is now causing the wallet to be hurting as I have to buy more clothes (thank goodness for E-bay). Strange when you buy more new clothes this seems to bring out a 'requirement' for the wife to also buy more clothes for herself, coming out in sympathy for my need I guess!

This song seems highly appropriate as not only are more and more people meeting me and saying how different I look, am beginning to realise how different I feel (and look). So it is a little like the 'old friend' in question is me from a long time ago. It is a little scary at times, because I wonder why it took me so long to meet this 'new person' and have left this 'meeting' for so long. Ah well.....

Title: Hello friend
Artist: Chris Rea
Album: On the beach
Year: 1986

Hello friend, where you been so long?
Time goes by, so easy it sleeps away
Just like a shadow at the end of the day

Hello friend, how are things for you these days?
Some guy from way-back-when, he mentioned your name
Did he ever get back to you?
Ah, you know I told him to

Sometimes I turn and I swear I hear you call
And I often wonder how we lost what we knew
Seems it gone in the wind, washed away in the rain
And the years go by and by

The bridges you burned, long sinced turned into ashes
When there were no reasons, now the river runs dry
Seems it gone in the wind, washed away in the rain
And the years go by and by
Where you been so long

Day 90 - Now that I can tuck it in!

Well the sleep apnoea appears to be under control and I am both sleeping OK at night and staying awake during the day.

Having been off the BP tablets for a week all appears good on this front too! Fingers crossed.

Also it seems I have dropped another 'dress size' to 36" waist trousers (comfortable) versus 42" (very tight) at the start. And a funny thing s my leg length appears to have grown by 2" due to the fact that my 'waist' is now higher up my abdomen than it used to be! Or truthfully speaking I am now wearing trousers around my actual waist for the first time in ages.

In fact as other things have been on my mind other than my weight, I had no real expectation of what weight loss I might expect to achieve, except I wanted to tip the five stone barrier.

Anyway, guess my surprise when I found I had lost another 5 1/2 pounds last week (and I was weighed a day early!), so not only have I lost over 5 stone but substantially over and now I am only a couple of pounds over 13 stone. Fantastic!

I thought I would use this song, because I like it, and while the sentiment is nice (basically....I will love you whatever or however size/weight/grey you are) I think my reasons for changing my life are fundamentally about my health and not my weight (and certainly not my grey hairs, of which I have many!).


So, therefore, the song still works for me but may not apply precisely!


Title: 'Til you can't tuck it in
Artist: Beautiful South
Album: Painting it Red
Year: 2000

Your figure like your friendship
Gradually grows and grows
The clothes that you thought that you'd shrunk
Their size just froze

When the body that you thought of as yours
Just ups and goes
I'll be happy with the weight
Of the partner that I chose

Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
And you can still hack it
'Cause you know what your feet a free for
And I'll love my dear
'Til you can't tuck it in anymore, anymore

Your second grey hair came a month
After the first
It didn't make you better
But it didn't make you feel any worse

Your third grey hair appeared
With the fourth on your beard
Your fifth, sixth, seventh sprouted out
From your nose and your ears

And I'll love you my partner
'Til you can't hide the grey anymore
Your distinguished good looks
Am the ones young girls cannot ignore
And I'll love you my partner
'Til the grey hairs hairdressers floor, hairdressers floor

Your eighth and your ninth and your tenth
You just looked to the sky
Like the charge of the Light Brigade
Was passing you by

Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
When it comes to raw beauty
You've a whole whorehouse waiting in store
Your corset has grown
Bid you're still always first to the drawer
And I'll love you my partner (And I'll love you my partner)
'Til the grey hairs the hairdresser's floor
Hairdresser's floor, hairdresser's floor

Day 84 - The king of the rumbing spires

A good week for several reasons.

First I went to the doctor and he agreed (based on my blood pressure reducing over the last 2-3 months) that I should try a month without medication. Very positive and hopefully this will lead to a permanent situation.

Also, I have been taking tests for my sleep apnea and so far feel great, I await the results, but I definitely feel better.

Add that to the fact that I have lost a further 3.9 pounds and now I am a smidgen away from losing FIVE stone since I started! Wow!

No other reason for this song than I love it and reminds me of times gone by. Hers' to the little man Mr Bolan, I hope God's looking after you!

Title: The king of the rumbling sires

Artist: T.Rex

Album: Single release

Year: 1969

Light all the fires,

It's the King of the Rumbling Spires,

Light all the fires,

It's the King and he's coming home.

We're so windy fair

Priestess of my young soul

Mighty eagles pair

On the peace of your hair.

Light all the fires,

It's the King of the Rumbling Spires

Light all the fires,

It's the King and he's coming home.

Doi doi doi