Day 22 (Phase 2) - A time for others

A week more on food and fruit (yum yum) and at Christmas too. Wow, this weight-in is going to be interesting. Tried to be good and don't think I have done too bad...fingers crossed....well except for the two ports on Xmas day and Boxing day.

I have really enjoyed the introduction of fruit and am enjoying fruit more than I have ever done if fact I really feel this is one positive change I can make in my diet which will help me a lot, along with the water. Starting to learn new habits and new ways of coping with food intake. This is good.

So the resuls from the weigh-in? Amazing.....I had lost weight!!! Another 3.8 pounds and am eating quite a bit.

And now a song which for me has just the sort of lyric that come first to mind this time of year when we are all at home, safe with our families. These are thoughts of others less fortunate than me and my family.

If you read this then please spare a thought for those who are less fortunate than you (and there will always be some) and make a decision to do just one thing next year to help someone in some way, however small. In this way the world will be a better place for us all and especially for those help need help most.

Title: In the Ghetto
Artist: Elvis Presley
Album: single
Year: 1969

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago morning
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto

And his mama cries
cause if there's one thing that she don't need
Its another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto

People, don't you understand
The child needs a helping hand
Or hell grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
Are we too blind to see,
Do we simply turn our heads
And look the other way

Well the world turns
And a hungry little boy with a runny nose
Plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto

And his hunger burns
So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal
And he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car,
Tries to run, but he don't get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers round an angry young man
Face down on the street with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto
As her young man dies,
On a cold and gray Chicago morning,
Another little baby child is born
In the ghetto

Day 14 (Phase 2) - Thank you

A good week with food and a sense of balance and returning to normal. Trying to get used to the feeling of "what full is like". This is fascinating as I indulge in real food for the first time in ages.

I have to say I am enjoying this new challenge and it is giving me the opportunity to prepare myself for normal food patterns. This is an area which has concerned me and caused me to doubt my ability to cope. I am beginning to see how to do this as I progress through this phase.

I can see how important it is to manage this phase as carefully as the previous one. In some senses this is a more important phase as I am learning a lot more about myself and giving myself the opportunity to test newly learned skills about food intake and portion management.

Going to weigh in was a bit of a surprise as I have lost a further 3.1 lb and I am less than one pound over 12 stone, a place I have never been since I was a teenager!

Guess this gives me room to increase food, or more importantly calorie intake, without putting on weight. I have not been hungry but if I can widen my scope of foods a little...then good.

Now a song dedicated to my wife, who is the inspiration to my change in life. A person who, after going through a life threatening health problem leaving her with a disability, inspired me to do something about my health so we both can enjoy the rest of our lives together in peace and health.

Title: Thank you

Artist: Led Zeppelin

Album: Led Zeppelin II

Year: 1969

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all,

Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,together we shall go until we die.

My, my, my.An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,

Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Day 9 (Phase 2 ) - Old red eyes is back! - before and after pictures posted

Click on this link to see the evidence...but please be careful, not a pretty sight!

http://jc-stuff.blogspot.com/2007/12/before-and-after-shots-oh-dear.html

And hopefully for the last time......

Title: Old red eyes is back

Artist: Beautiful south

Album:0898

Year: 1992

Old Red eyes is back

Red from the night before the night before

Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door

Old Red's in town

And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound

Just adding to the wrinkles on his deathly frown

They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed

They're only red from all the women that I could've wed

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Listen up Old Red

You never listened to a word the doctor said

He told you if you drank another you'd be dead

Old Red Eyes is back

His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore

He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw

They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head

They're only red from all the things I could have done instead

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Blue is a street without an end

Red is the colour of my hell

Blue is a greeting from a friend

Red is the colour of farewell

Old Red he died

And every single landlord in the district cried

An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side

A lazy little tear running from each eye

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Day 7 (Phase 2) - Starting to kick the habit

Well one week into route to management and back to some food. What is it like? Strange is the best description I can give. I am getting lots of sensations and feelings which are different to what I felt before.

For instance, I am not as hungry as I thought I would be, I feel "full" after a plate of salad leaves and a small piece of grilled tuna, strange feelings I am not accustomed to. I am not sure how to interpret these yet but I hope these are signs that I am coming to terms with the addiction that is my lifestyle, overeating and over consuming alcohol.

Of interest, I have started to read a great book called "Eating less, say goodbye to overeating" by Gillian Riley. This book makes a lot of good sense and talks of eating and drinking as addictions which are to be handled. Helpful and useful stuff.

The concept of weigh gain being the 'symptom' not the 'cause', this being over eating, is a better way of looking at things and fits into my view of what I am trying to achieve.

Anyway, along to LL for a weekly check and weigh in. What will it reveal?

Well, I have not gained weight, in fact I have lost a little more (1.5lb to be precise). This is interesting as I feel rather good, both in terms of my satisfaction with food, but also with myself for getting through this week with increased confidence on what lies ahead with management.

I think of this song as one about addiction, which is appropriate as I feel I am conquering my addiction to food and drink in the change process I am in.

Title: Happiness is a warm gun

Artist: The Beatles

Album: White album

Year: 1968

She's not a girl who misses much

Do do do do do do do do

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand

Like a lizard on a window pane

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots

Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime

A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the Nation Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

Down to the bits that I left uptown

I need a fix cause I'm going down

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the

Happiness is a warm gun

Happiness is a warm gun

When I hold you in my arms

And I feel my finger on your trigger

I know no one can do me no harm

Because happiness is a warm gun

Yes it is

Day 1 (Phase 2) - This is the time ( phase 2 of my life plan)

So after the momentous day yesterday I embark on phase 2 of my life changing plan. The 'route to management', where I learn and understand the basis for maintaining and living with a way of life in respect of food and drink in a practical way.

I will be eating 'real food' for the first time tonight, in the form of a small tin of tuna chunks, but the significance of this moment cannot be lost.

This new phase brings a renewed determination and re-sets the bar to a new goal for me. I am up for the challenge and ready to fight for my new life.

This is indeed the time.....

Title: This is the time

Artist: Billy Joel

Album: The bridge

Year: 1986

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel

They're tearing it down now

But it's just as well

I haven't shown you everything a man can do

So stay with me baby

I got plans for you

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life

Some kind of miracle that I survived

Some day we will both look back

And have to laugh

We lived through a lifetime

And the aftermath

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

I know we've gotta move somehow

But I don't want to lose you now

Sometimes it's so easy to let a day slip on by

Without even seeing each other at all

But this is the time you'll turn back to and so will I

And those will be days you can never recall

And so we embrace again behind the dunes

This beach is so cold on winter afternoons

Ah, but holding you close is like holding the summer sun

I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

But now I need the rest of you

Day 112 - I don't know how I'm gonna tell you

I have spent the last two weeks preparing myself for moving to 'management' and returning to eating food again! Whilst I have a good view on how and what to manage my drink intake, food is still a concern and area of the unknown to me.

I don't know how I will feel and how I will react to the changes I know I need to make to my eating habits. Actually, it is not that I don't know, it is more that I don't know if I will get satisfaction and be happy with this. I find this quite scary actually. For the first time since I started the program, I have a few doubts on my long term ability to manage my life in this respect.

It is these concerns that makes me certain that I will run the full 'route to management' course with LL as I think I will need support and someone to bounce ideas off and give me suggestions on ways to manage this process of change.

What I do know is that I am ready for a change in my program and ready to embark on a new phase to my life change program. Having started sceptical about 'abstinence' and whether I could lost what I needed, I have proven to myself that I can do that, so I am ready for a new challenge. This is the one.

Anyway, after a two week break (as I was away for last week's weigh in) I was looking forward to seeing where I was this week, from a weight perspective. So......

The good news is I have lost a further 7.7lb and now have lost over 6 stone and my weight is below 12.5 stone and my BMI is 24.87, i.e. in the NORMAL range for the first time in many many years! Hooray!

Moving into 'route to management' after today and learning how to say to food and drink "I can't play with you no more" .

Before/after photos coming next week!

Title: That's the way
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: Led Zeppelin III
Year: 1970

I don't know how I'm gonna tell you,
I can't play with you no more,
I don't know how I'm gonna do what mama told me,
My friend, the boy next door.
I can't believe what people saying,
You're gonna let your hair hang down,
I'm satisfied to sit here working all day long,
You're in the darker side of town.

And when I'm out I see you walking,
Why don't your eyes see me?
Could it be you've found another game to play,
What did mama say to me?

That's The Way,
Oh, That's The Way it oughtta be, yeah, yeah, Mama say
That's The Way it oughtta stay, yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh

And yesterday I saw you standing by the river,
And weren't those tears that filled your eyes?
And all the fish that lay in dirty water dying,
Had they got you hypnotized?

And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers,
But all that lives is born to die.
And so I say to you that nothing really matters,
And all you do is stand and cry.

I don't know what to say about it,
When all your ears are turned away,
But now's the time to look and look again at what you see,
Is that the way it ought to stay?

That's the way...
That's the way it oughtta be, oh don't you know now,
Mama said, mama said... that's the way it's gonna stay, yeah. ahh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhh

Day 98 - Hello old friend

This week has been a little different. Felling a little tired at times and so wondering is this was my apnoea back or whether it was just the weight loss program.

Anyway, got the results from the sleep clinic and hear I now have only 'slight' apnoea which is a change for where I was, which was seriously bad apnoea. So maybe it is just the way things are.

Also, feeling the cold really bad this week, unlike my 'old' self. Hello 'cold' friend!

Going well at the gym now with around 3 visits a week and my BPM is coming down each visit and strangely I am enjoying it! The feeling of euphoria after the work out and then sauna and steam room is fabulous, all the endorphins rushing around...lovely.

Anyway, weigh in and I lost a further 3.3lb, which takes my net weight down to under 13 stone which is lower than I can ever remember since I was a lad and just married.

As such this chnage is now causing the wallet to be hurting as I have to buy more clothes (thank goodness for E-bay). Strange when you buy more new clothes this seems to bring out a 'requirement' for the wife to also buy more clothes for herself, coming out in sympathy for my need I guess!

This song seems highly appropriate as not only are more and more people meeting me and saying how different I look, am beginning to realise how different I feel (and look). So it is a little like the 'old friend' in question is me from a long time ago. It is a little scary at times, because I wonder why it took me so long to meet this 'new person' and have left this 'meeting' for so long. Ah well.....

Title: Hello friend
Artist: Chris Rea
Album: On the beach
Year: 1986

Hello friend, where you been so long?
Time goes by, so easy it sleeps away
Just like a shadow at the end of the day

Hello friend, how are things for you these days?
Some guy from way-back-when, he mentioned your name
Did he ever get back to you?
Ah, you know I told him to

Sometimes I turn and I swear I hear you call
And I often wonder how we lost what we knew
Seems it gone in the wind, washed away in the rain
And the years go by and by

The bridges you burned, long sinced turned into ashes
When there were no reasons, now the river runs dry
Seems it gone in the wind, washed away in the rain
And the years go by and by
Where you been so long

Day 90 - Now that I can tuck it in!

Well the sleep apnoea appears to be under control and I am both sleeping OK at night and staying awake during the day.

Having been off the BP tablets for a week all appears good on this front too! Fingers crossed.

Also it seems I have dropped another 'dress size' to 36" waist trousers (comfortable) versus 42" (very tight) at the start. And a funny thing s my leg length appears to have grown by 2" due to the fact that my 'waist' is now higher up my abdomen than it used to be! Or truthfully speaking I am now wearing trousers around my actual waist for the first time in ages.

In fact as other things have been on my mind other than my weight, I had no real expectation of what weight loss I might expect to achieve, except I wanted to tip the five stone barrier.

Anyway, guess my surprise when I found I had lost another 5 1/2 pounds last week (and I was weighed a day early!), so not only have I lost over 5 stone but substantially over and now I am only a couple of pounds over 13 stone. Fantastic!

I thought I would use this song, because I like it, and while the sentiment is nice (basically....I will love you whatever or however size/weight/grey you are) I think my reasons for changing my life are fundamentally about my health and not my weight (and certainly not my grey hairs, of which I have many!).


So, therefore, the song still works for me but may not apply precisely!


Title: 'Til you can't tuck it in
Artist: Beautiful South
Album: Painting it Red
Year: 2000

Your figure like your friendship
Gradually grows and grows
The clothes that you thought that you'd shrunk
Their size just froze

When the body that you thought of as yours
Just ups and goes
I'll be happy with the weight
Of the partner that I chose

Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
And you can still hack it
'Cause you know what your feet a free for
And I'll love my dear
'Til you can't tuck it in anymore, anymore

Your second grey hair came a month
After the first
It didn't make you better
But it didn't make you feel any worse

Your third grey hair appeared
With the fourth on your beard
Your fifth, sixth, seventh sprouted out
From your nose and your ears

And I'll love you my partner
'Til you can't hide the grey anymore
Your distinguished good looks
Am the ones young girls cannot ignore
And I'll love you my partner
'Til the grey hairs hairdressers floor, hairdressers floor

Your eighth and your ninth and your tenth
You just looked to the sky
Like the charge of the Light Brigade
Was passing you by

Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
When it comes to raw beauty
You've a whole whorehouse waiting in store
Your corset has grown
Bid you're still always first to the drawer
And I'll love you my partner (And I'll love you my partner)
'Til the grey hairs the hairdresser's floor
Hairdresser's floor, hairdresser's floor

Day 84 - The king of the rumbing spires

A good week for several reasons.

First I went to the doctor and he agreed (based on my blood pressure reducing over the last 2-3 months) that I should try a month without medication. Very positive and hopefully this will lead to a permanent situation.

Also, I have been taking tests for my sleep apnea and so far feel great, I await the results, but I definitely feel better.

Add that to the fact that I have lost a further 3.9 pounds and now I am a smidgen away from losing FIVE stone since I started! Wow!

No other reason for this song than I love it and reminds me of times gone by. Hers' to the little man Mr Bolan, I hope God's looking after you!

Title: The king of the rumbling sires

Artist: T.Rex

Album: Single release

Year: 1969

Light all the fires,

It's the King of the Rumbling Spires,

Light all the fires,

It's the King and he's coming home.

We're so windy fair

Priestess of my young soul

Mighty eagles pair

On the peace of your hair.

Light all the fires,

It's the King of the Rumbling Spires

Light all the fires,

It's the King and he's coming home.

Doi doi doi

Day 77 - Keeping the dream alive - Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween

Week 11 and I am looking to review some significant health matters for me. Having suffered from Obstructive Sleep Apnoea (OSP) for around 4 years, I have arranged for a re-test to see if my weight loss has affected my condition. So I have not been using my CPAP device since Monday and have to pick up my testing device this Friday and will get the result the following Monday. I am not sure how I feel right now as some of the symptoms are similar to those from being on the LL program. Well next week will tell.

Also, I am taking a visit to the doc next Tuesday to see if my hypertension has altered. I have been monitoring this for a while now and I think it is lower but can I consider stopping the tablets? Again next week will tell.

So all in all, the next week will be interesting.

However, this has not stopped me getting on with the plan. After weight in today, I have lost a further 4.9 lb taking my weight to under 14 stone for the first time in over 15 years! Yippppeee.

This is a lovely song from a Scandinavian band who sound on this track a lot like the Beatles. A song about optimism and positive thoughts. Great stuff and just what I need to take on board for the next week. Fingers crossed.

Song: Keeping the dream alive

Artist: Freiheit

Album: Fantasy

Year: 1988

Tonight the rain is falling

Full of memories of people and places

And while the past is calling

In my fantasy I remember their faces

The hopes we had were much too high

Way out of reach but we had to try

The game will never be over

Because we're keeping the dream alive

I hear myself recalling

Things you said to me

The night it all started

And still the rain is falling

Makes me feel the way I felt when we parted

The hopes we had were much too high

Way out of reach but we have to try

No need to hide no need to run

'Cause all the answers come one by one

The game will never be over

Because we're keeping the dream alive

Day 70 - I didn't know what love is

After a hell of a week, the weigh in. I don't feel as if anything has changed, but this is maybe in my mind rather then in reality. This was proven to be the case as I found at weigh in I had lost a further 4 lb, taking my total weight loss to over 60 lbs! Fantastic.

And so to a song very dear to my heart as I relate to it closely from a time when I was in the middle of a family crisis due to illness and I found out what was important in life. After a tough week both with the plan and with some issues at home, this song reminds me of exactly what is important. My family, love and all that. Simply beautiful......

Title: The Hurt

Artist: Cat Stevens

Album: Foreigner

Year: 1973

Young son, don't let me down, young son

I'm trusting you to keep on, never turn away now

Hold on, never let go, now hold on

Turn your heart to the bright sun

Love will come your way

Cos 'till you make that final show

You'll never know what love you've been missing

Missing

You say you want to seek the truth but you work alone

No one to help you and nobody to push you on

So you sit at home drinking your wine, television on

You wait for a miracle, cos you say one day one'll come along

But wishful thinking, boy, any minute now you might be gone

I'd like to help you brother but that would be wrong

Until I got hurt, I was looking, I was on my way

Until I got hurt, until I got hurt, darling I didn't know which way

Until I got hurt, 'till I got hurt, why didn't I

I didn't think of this until I got hurt

'Till I got hurt, baby, I didn't know what love is

Day 63 - just a Day in the Life

After a hard week I 'needed' a boost and therefore my weigh in this time was key for me. I have been away in Barcelona on a business trip (pictures in my other blog - link below) with some colleagues who enjoyed the food and drink in fine places. I joined in the company but abstained from the fun. This was really difficult in such a relaxed atmosphere.

The only light relief I was able to get (and no calories) was a visit to the local Casino attached to the hotel. In there I won €400 playing blackjack, so someone up there was looking after me and wanting me to have some fun!

So to the weigh in. Amazing, I have loss a further 6.2 pound in the week, making my total weight loss to over 4 stone. I am, of course, overjoyed.

A song about life and a great song too. No more, no less. Enjoy life, I am.

Title: A day in the Life
Artist: The Beatles
Album: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Year: 1967

I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords
I saw a film today oh boy
The English Army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream

Day 55 - 2 months - If that's what it takes

Except for 1 day, the end of month 2, week 8 but day 55. Finally over the last couple of weeks I have realised the ability to change is in my hands and what this means for me and my life is becoming very clear to me. This is not a diet, it NEVER has been. This is about a change in my life and the consequences are fundamental, important and worthwhile. I feel refreshed and renewed that I can and will achieve my goal.

These thoughts are spreading to all parts of my life, not just to my own physique. I am looking to make positive and life changing decisions that will benefit my wife, family and me.

This week's weight loss has been a modest 3.3lb, but this still very good. Firstly, this takes my total weight loss ver 50 pounds so far and puts my net weight to under 15 stone for the first time on over 15 years! Indeed a major milestone and a great boost to my confidence.

An apt piece of music from my favourite Beatle. A time of realisation has dawned on me and this sums it up well.


Song: If that what it takes
Artist : George Harrison
Album: Cloud nine
Year: 1987

And now it begins to shine
And you found the eyes to see
Each little drop at dawn of ev'ry day

Your smile, it comes back to me
And whatever you may say
Don't let it stop, never fade away

As we got to get out in this world together, oh
Doesn't really matter if we start to make some changes, oh

If that's what it takes (that's what it takes)
Then I've got to be strong (that's what it takes)
Don't want to be wrong
If that's what it takes

Day 53 - Lazy Sunday Afternoon (at the gym)

Well induction time at the gym and lil' old me gets down to some sporting activity. First time for a long time.

And what thoughts sprung to mind when I was taken through the various 'devices' in the gym? Was it how I remembered how they all worked, it all came flooding back? NO, it was the pain each and every one of the, caused me years ago...aye why.

So I got myself set up on a cardio-vascular program, after I told the assessor I wasn't looking to become the next Mr. Universe. (was that a little smirk I saw on his face?). So mainly running, cycling and 'stepping' (oh they hurt) with a bit of rowing thrown in for good measure. I did manage to get a good sweat up and left thinking what my legs will be like tomorrow, but feeling good about myself all round.

So this song just seemed so apt.....

Song: Lazy Sunday afternoon
Artist: Small Faces
Album: Ogdens nut gone flake
Year: 1968

Wouldn't it be nice to get on wiv me neighbours
But they make it very clear they've got no room for ravers
They stop me from groovin', they bang on me wall
They doin' me crust in, it's no good at all

Lazy Sunday afternoon, I've got no mind to worry
Close my eyes and drift away-aaa

Here we all are sittin' in a rainbow
Cor blimey hello Mrs. Jones how's old Bert's lumbago?
I'll sing you a song with no words and no tune
To sing in your party while you suss out the moon, oh yeah

Lazy Sunday afternoon, I've got no mind to worry
Close my eyes and drift away, close my eyes and drift away, close my eyes and drift away.

Day 50 - Special post - May You Never

I learned last night that my best friend had been taken into hospital. I was with his partner after she returned from hospital (both are true friends) and she was distraught, as is there 11-year old daughter. I await news but it sounds like something 'inside has burst and is bleeding'.

Sounds terrible but I hope for positive news very soon. Like me, he needs to change his life but this of course (and I respect this) is his decision. I am sure the docs are giving him some of this advice right now. I will do all I can to support him and his family when he returns home.

God bless him.

I love him and his partner and this song is about him and her.

Title: May You Never

Artist: John Martyn

Album: Solid Air

Year: 1973

May you never lay your head down, without a hand to hold

May you never make your bed out in the cold

Your just like a great strong brother of mine and you know that I love you true

You never talk dirty behind my back and I know there are those that do

Won't you please, won't you please, won't you bear in mind

Love is a lesson to learn in our time

Won't you please, won't you please, won't you bear in mind for me

May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold

May you never make your bed out in the cold

And your just like a good close sister me and you know that I love you true

You hold no blade to stab me in the back and I know that some do

Won't you please, won't you please, won't you bear in mind

Love is a lesson to learn time

Won't you please, won't you please, won't you bear it in mind for me

May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold

May you never make your bed out in the cold

May you never lose your temper if you get hit in a bar room fight

May you never lose your woman over night

May you never lay your head down, without a hand to hold

May you never make your bed out in the cold

May you never lose your temper if you get hit in a bar room fight

May you never lose your woman over night

Day 49 - Everything's not lost (yet)

You know, when I started this journey I could not really see myself losing even three stone let alone more, if I am honest. In fact I started out wanting to change my life, hence the Blog title, and whilst this was most certainly how I felt, I am not sure I understood how I could do this. The how is something that is starting to change for me, I am so pleased to say.

So to do the 3 in 6 (3 stone in 6 weeks) was sort of a watershed for me, because I never envisaged such a major step, even in my wildest dreams and despite all the LL publicity. For other people yes, but not little (well not so little) ordinary me. However, beyond this point I travel into the unknown and the unexpected. I guess in some ways I now realise I am changing, most importantly inside my head, never mind outside in my body.

It has most certainly become less of a question of 'how much weight will I lose' and become one of 'based on my progress what opportunities does this offer me too change my life forever'. I would say I am now realising I have in my own hands the very potential I wanted to achieve and caused me to start the blog, an opportunity to 'change my life....forever'. This is VERY motivational for me.

And I say this because I guess deep down I wasn't convinced it would work. However, now I am making good progress this is making me think of the positive possibilities this holds for me, my family and my life. I must admit I am looking 'forward' much more than I ever have before. I know that I will do some things differently, but I mean know not think. I know I will drink alcohol differently, eat food differently, just run my life differently.

So onto week 7 and I lost a further 4 lb. I guess I should expect a slow down, but it is still a few pounds over 3 stone. And so my way to the two month milestone. Oh and by the way, I have been trying to walk 30-40 minutes a day regularly, but with the inclement weather this has made this increasingly difficult. Sooooo....I am starting at my son's gym on Sunday. He has given me all the encouragement to join, including getting them to waive the start up fee! I shall therefore make a mid-week post on Sunday after my first introduction to the dark side of exercise.

A newer song to think about in those moments when I am reflecting on what I have really learned. Indeed in life everything is most definitely not lost.

Song: Everything's not lost

Artist: Coldplay

Album: Parachutes

Year: 2000

If you ever feel neglected,
If you ever think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost,
Everything's not lost,
When I'm counting up my demons.

There's always one for everyday,
With the good ones on my shoulder,
I drove the other ones away.

If you ever feel neglected,
If you think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost.

When you thought it was over,
You could feel it all around,
Everybody's out to get you,
Don't you let it drag you down.

Cos if you eve feel neglected,
If you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting all the demons, yeah.

Singing out o yeah
Everything's not lost,
Come on yeah, o yeah, come on yeah,
Everything's not lost,

Day 42 - Born a poor young country boy

Today marks my sixth complete week on the big change. I have to say I never expected to have done so much in such a small space of time. This week's weigh-in added another 4.6 pounds to the total and now I have lost a total of a pound over 3 stone. Amazing, I am so pleased.

I am finding renewed interest in long forgotten hobbies and pastimes (photography, walking, reading) and my energy levels as well as my weight loss has been noticed by several people a work.

I am down to the last hole on my belt, down two trousers sizes (indicating a loss of 5 inches off my waist) and feeling very proud.

Getting smaller must be making me nostalgic as I spend more time thinking of life, family and life. Maybe I am learning to love my life a little more?

This song reminds me of my youth. Not because I was born in the country, but in fact in a gritty little mining village in Durham. But it talks of the simple life, where what we are all born with is just life and beauty. When I look back to my younger days and what I did as a boy for fun; much of it involved playing outside down on the beach banks with my friends just breathing in the fresh air and running around playing games in the surrounding fields and beach (well I say beach but it was mostly gravel banks!), a one with nature and the outside. So this is a beautiful song about life and nature and mankind. I listen, remember and learn from this song.

Title: Mother nature's son
Artist: The Beatles
Album: The Beatles (White Album)
Year: 1968

Born a poor young country boy, Mother Nature's son
All day long I'm sitting singing songs for everyone.

Sit beside a mountain stream, see her waters rise
Listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies.

Find me in my field of grass, Mother Nature's son
Swaying daises sing a lazy song beneath the sun.
Mother Nature's son.

Day 37 - been away a long time, but taking one day at a time

Back from Uganda and having my next weigh in, albeit two days later than normal so it had better be good!

But first a little about Uganda - good or what? What a place!

To be fair I didn't see much of Kampala as I was in meetings for most of the time and these carried on from dawn to dusk, but I did get a walk through Kampala high street for a couple of hours. But the best of all was the people, they were fantastic.

Polite, respectful, smiling and very very friendly. All of them insisted on saying hello and shaking your hand, in many cases holding your hand for several minutes while they introduced themselves. And then did it all again every time they met you throughout the day. They always did this to each other too. They are like what British people (usually older ones) say they remember we were like 50 years ago. A great spirit of community and friendship with a lack of cynicism and much courtesy. I loved it and what I mean is I loved the people. I will go back for a taste of real Africa.

As for the diet, I did it! I went the whole time on plan and with no deviations. I learned the trick is to be honest about what I was doing and I received support and help from everyone to maintain my focus and nerve, despite the lovely food and drink available.

Anyway, after using the scales in the hotel room which seemed to tell me I was not losing anything I went along to my LL weigh-in with some trepidation. The results were better than I had dared expect. I have lost another 7.3 pounds since last weigh-in. So now I am below 15 stone for the first time in years and not just below, well below. I have managed to shed over 2 stone and 10 pound, in an amazing 5 and a bit weeks. WOW! Now is the time to use some lyrics from my favourite artist.

This song does it for me and supports me throughout my attempts to change my life.

Beautiful music, poetic words, powerful message and an all from an all round good bloke. Yusuf does the business with this fab song from his latest and most recent album. If you want to be spiritually uplifted get the album...but then I am biased. It is so beautiful.

Title: One day at a time
Artist: Yusuf Islam
Album: An other cup
Year : 2006

One day at a time
We can learn to leave the past behind
One day at a time
We can look the future in the eye
One day at a time
We can learn to live

One day at a time
we can leave all treasures behind
One day at a time
we can watch the clocks unwind
One day at a time
a child is born into this world eyes blind
But one day he will find - his sight, and glimpse
another kind of Light
to live by - one day
One day at a time
we can put machines behind
One day at a time
we can learn how birds survive
One day at a time
we can learn to fly

Day 27 - Finding my beach of gold - weigh in 4 minus 1 day

A day early for the weight in as I am away tomorrow. Hope I have made progress. Also, I am away (in Uganda of all places) next week so this is my last weigh in until late next week.

Weigh in added a further 4.4 lb to the total weight loss, so low I am well over 2 stone in 4 weeks, minus 1 day :-)

This song marks just how I feel right now. I am indeed a beggar on my own beach of gold. The answer to my problem of how I change my life was within me, and now I am doing something about it.


Title: A beggar on a beach of gold
Artist: Mike and the Mechanics
Album: Beggar on a beach of gold
Year: 1995

The problems I encountered
Gave me strength helped me sustain
To know the pleasure
First I had to cure the pain

When I was searching for solutions
I found the answer lay in me
I'm a drifter
But I'm drifting on a silver sea

Oh lord I'm a poor man
With all the riches I can hold
I'm a beggar
And I'm sitting on a beach of gold

Day 21 - Let it grow let it grow...or maybe shrink!!

Day 21 and my third weigh in session of the plan. Three weeks on and going strong. Will I be able to maintain positive progress?

Well my weigh in was delayed a little (which didn't help my nerves) but I need not have worried, am still making good progress.

This week I have lost 6.6 lb, so my overall loss is just about one pound under 2 stone.

So just got to keep going....

How do I feel? Wel I have een feeling a little tired late afternoon, so wil try a shake earlier to see if this helps. Otherwise have been feeling great.

Today's song is about looking for the 'way' in life and needing a friend to be a partner. This is one of Slowhand's best songs and is a good way of describing what I am looking to do in this change of life. Fortunately I have found my partner, my wife, Lesley.

Title: Let it grow
Artist: Eric Clapton
Album: 461 Ocean Boulevard
Year: 1974

Standing at the crossroads, trying to read the signs
To tell me which way I should go to find the answer,
And all the time I know,
Plant your love and let it grow.

Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun, the rain, the snow,
Love is lovely, let it grow.

Looking for a reason to check out of my mind,
Trying hard to get a friend that I can count on,
But there's nothing left to show,
Plant your love and let it grow.

Day 14 - Another weigh - don't try so hard

My second weight day on day 14 of the diet. Nervous, you bet your life I was! I am feeling great and managing so well but I am not sure how I would feel if it was for nothing.

Wow, I was not expecting such a great loss in my second week, nearly 10 lb, 9.9 to be precise. I am on cloud nine with my progress as this is a total loss of 1st 6 lb, nearly one and a half stone in two weeks....amazing. I feel GREAT!!!

A great song from the great Queen. Supportive and comforting and yet inspiring you to succeed but not to worry about trying too hard. In fact relax and do you best. Which is precisely what I am doing on this mission to change my life.

Title: Don't try so hard

Artist: Queen

Album: Innuendo

Year: 1991

If your searching out for something

Don’t try so hard

If your feeling kinda nothing

Don’t try so hard

When your problems seem like mountains

You feel the need to find some answers

You can leave it for another day

Don’t try so hard

But if you fall and take a tumble it wont be far

If you fail you mustn’t grumble

Thank your lucky stars

Just savour every mouthful
And treasure every moment

When the storms are raging round you

Stay right where you are

Day 10 - for the rest of my life

Going well and enjoying it all.

A tune from Mr. Collins (Genesis). These words, are I am sure, are about a relationship but they work well as an inspiration for us all to look at our lives and make the best of it, focus on the things that are important, as once it's gone, it's gone....nice sentiment

Title: All of my life
Artist: Phil Collins

Album: But seriously

Year: 1989

All of my life, I've been looking

But it's hard to find the way

Reaching past the goal in front of me

While what's important just slips away

It doesn't come back but I'll be looking

All of my life

Day 9 - no snack attack

Feeling good and managing well on the food front. Water intake still good.

Went to the pub tonight and drank fizzy water. No issue other than I got the most horrendous stitch for some reason.

Another day...no food...keeping it going

A topical, great bit of word play from the ex 10CC duo, Godley and Creme. This is just a snap shot from the whole song, but I think you can get the drift here.....


Title: Snack attac
Artist: Godley & Creme
Album: Ismism
Year: 1981


Gimme sausage, egg and beans and chips
Milkshakes, clambakes, fondue & dips
And sauces, horses, 17 courses
Of barbequed beef with asparagus tips
Rashers of bacon, bagels and lox
And tandoori prawns and a box of chocs
Spaghetti with mussels, palma hams
And deep frozen waffles with syrup & jams
My willpower's gone I'm down on my knees
Praying to the God of cottage cheese
It's no good trying I'll never beat it
`cos if it moves I'll eat it
So undo my trousers, let out the slack
Who cares it's a snack attack
It's a snack attack

Day 8 - have you seen the little piggies...

I was quite tired today late afternoon and felt a little down. Still, after my evening walk I perked up and enjoyed my evening soup and drink.

Tough day, but I got through it to diet another day.

No little piggies


A bit of tongue in cheek here with a funny little ditty by George Harrison. Although it is a social commentary song about money grabbing folk the words work in the 'eating context' too. Not a great graphic for the album cover on this one however! Enjoy....


Title: Piggies
Artist: George Harrison
Album: White Album (Beatles)
Year: 1968

Have you seen the little piggies
Crawling in the dirt
And for all the little piggies
Life is getting worse
Always having dirt to play around in.


Have you seen the bigger piggies
In their starched white shirts
You will find the bigger piggies
Stirring up the dirt
Always have clean shirts to play around in.


In their styes with all their backing
They don't care what goes on around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need's a damn good whacking.


Everywhere there's lots of piggies
Living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner
With their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

Day 7 - A weigh off my mind - the weigh day!

Today is my first weekly weigh day and I am nervous about it. I am now 'happily' drinking well in excess of 4 litres of water a day and going to the loo about 1,000 times to boot.

Other than this I am feeling upbeat and generally happy with no major hunger pangs, in fact I feel quite bloated, probably due to the water intake.

My session results weighed in at a loss for the week of 10.4 pounds! Fantastic, what a boost for my ego and motivation.

A song from one of the best voices and guitarsts from the UK blues scene, Peter Green. After Fleetwood Mac he left the music scene for a while but came back with some haunting music and georgeous words. Look at this....it is fantastic poetry


Title: In the skies
Artist: Peter Green
Album: In the skies
Year: 1978

Oh, there’s a way to keep the dark from the light
And there’s a way to take the cold out of the night
And when I see it’s glow
The sun and moon are shadowed
By the everlasting day

When I reach up my hand
To the loving son of man
The bread of life will keep my soul alive

There’s a place where rivers flow in the street
Where fruit and healing leaves are seen on a tree
Where emerald walls shine clear
And golden streets run far and near
Behind the gates where his angels names appear

When I reach up my hand
To the loving son of man
The bread of life will keep my soul alive

And he will wipe away the tears from our eyes
As we watch this old world fade when it dies
And a new one shall come
And it will be heaven
And it’s waiting for us there in the skies

Day 6 - no self control?

No self control? Not me. I have been able to manage well today on both the food front and the water front. I didn't particularly feel hungry and managed over SEVEN litres of water across the day. Something two or three days ago I would have thought impossible.

Tomorrow is a big day as it is my first weekly weigh in. Fingers crossed for a good result.

Today's lyric is again by one of my favourite artists, Peter Gabriel, and this is one of his best from his third solo album. The lyric just seems very appropriate just now! Hope I can maintain my self control......


Title: No self control
Artist: Peter Gabriel
Album: Peter Gabriel 3 (Melt)
Year : 1980

Got to get some food
I'm so hungry all the time
I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to stop

Got to get some sleep
I'm so nervous in the night
I don't know how to stop
No, I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to stop

Got to pick up the phone
I will call any number
I will talk to anyone
I know I'm gone too far
Much too far I gone this time
And I don't want to think what I've done
I don't know how to stop
No, I don't know how to stop

There are always hidden silences
Waiting behind the chair
They come out when the coast is clear
They eat anything that moves
I go shaky at the knees
Lights go out, stars come down
Like a swarm of bees

No self-control
No self-control
No self-control

Day 5 - reminding myself about the goal

Today someone said they thought I had lost weight already, but I didn't flatter myself too much with this as I think they were trying to be kind, but nice nonetheless!

Day 5 without any solid food and I think it might even be getting a little easier. It helps being at work and busy; I was too much at a loose end over the week end with Lesley (that's 'er indoors) being away too. Starting to come to terms with the 'water torture' and finding the 4 litres manageable now. Have felt a little tired for the last couple of days around 4 pm, maybe a little more water will help!

I am looking forward to letting Lesley know how I am getting on tonight, when she is back.

Today's lyric is from Paul Young. I started to enjoy his music because his voice reminded me so much of Paul Rodgers (Free, Bad Company) who I had long admired as one of rock's best vocalists. A great voice, a lovely song and a lyric which totally applies to me. I use it today as a boost and a reminder for me.

Title: Everything must change
Artist: Paul Young
Album: The Secret of Association
Year: 1985

I was never one to back out of an argument and say I was wrong
Even when I'd seen the other side, I'd hide my foolishness and carry on
But still I'd be embarrassed 'cause they'd see what happened and the'd play along
Until I backed myself into a corner, I would only realize when they had gone

And like a dream a life, a reason - everything must change
Every, everything, everything must change
And like a world this earth and seasons - everything must change
Every, everything, everything must change

Day 4 - keep smiling

The sheer lack of solid food is starting to prey on my mind. Also, my skin feels very itchy (maybe this is due to my post holiday tan recovering?), which does not add to my positive state of mind. I am committed to staying calm, collected and focused.

Also, with Lesley still away on holiday I am alone and don't have anyone to share my feelings with.

I am also really fed up with going to the toilet about 20 times a day. I was told yesetdray this will improve over the next few days and also ketosis will start to occur which should also improve my feeling of wellbeing. Just as well as I could do with a boost.

Today's lyric is from probably my favourite artist, Cat Stevens. I can relate to many of his songs and this one is nice tune althouth I am not to sure who or what it is about. Still it talks about wanting to live and that is very true for me....


Title: Northern Wind
Artist: Cat Stevens
Album: New Masters
Year: 1967

There is a wind, my Billy, and it's awful strong
Come for you, and anyone who's helped you along.

But I want to live, live, live and let the stars shine brigh
yes, I want to live, live, live and let it on alright

And when that bird sings from over that silver wall
I don't want to fight it, Billy, 'cause i want to go

Day 3 - My first weight check

I went for my first weight check today at the 'clinic' and wondered why I was checking so soon? First step was to go to the toilet first, of course, having already had my first litre of water of the day.

Anyway, amazed as I was, I have lost just over 5 pounds already in just two days. So no reason to have the blues as things are going well and I feel great!

Talking of the blues, I love blues music and this great tune by Big Bill is a cracking little number for anyone around my sort of age who is maybe beginning to feel old. I find this song inspiring as it reminds me not to feel old before my time and it is of course, great music.

Title: Getting older every day
Artist: Big Bill Broonzy
Album: String Dazzlers: Great Blues Guitarists
Year: 1940

You say you're gettin' old, Lord older every day
You say you're gettin' old, yeah you say you're gettin' older every day
Now you ain't but fifty, ooh Lord boy you shouldn't feel that way

Now when you get so old, you can't work at no mill
Yeah when you get so old, Lord boy you can't work at no mill
Now don't you make no date, ooh Lord buddy that you can't fill

Now if your luck don't change, boy don't you be sad
Yeah if your luck don't change, now buddy don't you be sad
Now you really gotta learn Lord to take the good now with the bad

Now when you get old, and your good girl don't want you around
Ooh Lord when you get old, and your good girl don't want you around
Now you know you done run out of commission, ooh boy I declare you are poorhouse bound