Day 22 (Phase 2) - A time for others

A week more on food and fruit (yum yum) and at Christmas too. Wow, this weight-in is going to be interesting. Tried to be good and don't think I have done too bad...fingers crossed....well except for the two ports on Xmas day and Boxing day.

I have really enjoyed the introduction of fruit and am enjoying fruit more than I have ever done if fact I really feel this is one positive change I can make in my diet which will help me a lot, along with the water. Starting to learn new habits and new ways of coping with food intake. This is good.

So the resuls from the weigh-in? Amazing.....I had lost weight!!! Another 3.8 pounds and am eating quite a bit.

And now a song which for me has just the sort of lyric that come first to mind this time of year when we are all at home, safe with our families. These are thoughts of others less fortunate than me and my family.

If you read this then please spare a thought for those who are less fortunate than you (and there will always be some) and make a decision to do just one thing next year to help someone in some way, however small. In this way the world will be a better place for us all and especially for those help need help most.

Title: In the Ghetto
Artist: Elvis Presley
Album: single
Year: 1969

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago morning
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto

And his mama cries
cause if there's one thing that she don't need
Its another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto

People, don't you understand
The child needs a helping hand
Or hell grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
Are we too blind to see,
Do we simply turn our heads
And look the other way

Well the world turns
And a hungry little boy with a runny nose
Plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto

And his hunger burns
So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal
And he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car,
Tries to run, but he don't get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers round an angry young man
Face down on the street with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto
As her young man dies,
On a cold and gray Chicago morning,
Another little baby child is born
In the ghetto

Day 14 (Phase 2) - Thank you

A good week with food and a sense of balance and returning to normal. Trying to get used to the feeling of "what full is like". This is fascinating as I indulge in real food for the first time in ages.

I have to say I am enjoying this new challenge and it is giving me the opportunity to prepare myself for normal food patterns. This is an area which has concerned me and caused me to doubt my ability to cope. I am beginning to see how to do this as I progress through this phase.

I can see how important it is to manage this phase as carefully as the previous one. In some senses this is a more important phase as I am learning a lot more about myself and giving myself the opportunity to test newly learned skills about food intake and portion management.

Going to weigh in was a bit of a surprise as I have lost a further 3.1 lb and I am less than one pound over 12 stone, a place I have never been since I was a teenager!

Guess this gives me room to increase food, or more importantly calorie intake, without putting on weight. I have not been hungry but if I can widen my scope of foods a little...then good.

Now a song dedicated to my wife, who is the inspiration to my change in life. A person who, after going through a life threatening health problem leaving her with a disability, inspired me to do something about my health so we both can enjoy the rest of our lives together in peace and health.

Title: Thank you

Artist: Led Zeppelin

Album: Led Zeppelin II

Year: 1969

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all,

Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,together we shall go until we die.

My, my, my.An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,

Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Day 9 (Phase 2 ) - Old red eyes is back! - before and after pictures posted

Click on this link to see the evidence...but please be careful, not a pretty sight!

http://jc-stuff.blogspot.com/2007/12/before-and-after-shots-oh-dear.html

And hopefully for the last time......

Title: Old red eyes is back

Artist: Beautiful south

Album:0898

Year: 1992

Old Red eyes is back

Red from the night before the night before

Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door

Old Red's in town

And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound

Just adding to the wrinkles on his deathly frown

They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed

They're only red from all the women that I could've wed

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Listen up Old Red

You never listened to a word the doctor said

He told you if you drank another you'd be dead

Old Red Eyes is back

His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore

He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw

They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head

They're only red from all the things I could have done instead

So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Blue is a street without an end

Red is the colour of my hell

Blue is a greeting from a friend

Red is the colour of farewell

Old Red he died

And every single landlord in the district cried

An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side

A lazy little tear running from each eye

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

They could never be blue

Day 7 (Phase 2) - Starting to kick the habit

Well one week into route to management and back to some food. What is it like? Strange is the best description I can give. I am getting lots of sensations and feelings which are different to what I felt before.

For instance, I am not as hungry as I thought I would be, I feel "full" after a plate of salad leaves and a small piece of grilled tuna, strange feelings I am not accustomed to. I am not sure how to interpret these yet but I hope these are signs that I am coming to terms with the addiction that is my lifestyle, overeating and over consuming alcohol.

Of interest, I have started to read a great book called "Eating less, say goodbye to overeating" by Gillian Riley. This book makes a lot of good sense and talks of eating and drinking as addictions which are to be handled. Helpful and useful stuff.

The concept of weigh gain being the 'symptom' not the 'cause', this being over eating, is a better way of looking at things and fits into my view of what I am trying to achieve.

Anyway, along to LL for a weekly check and weigh in. What will it reveal?

Well, I have not gained weight, in fact I have lost a little more (1.5lb to be precise). This is interesting as I feel rather good, both in terms of my satisfaction with food, but also with myself for getting through this week with increased confidence on what lies ahead with management.

I think of this song as one about addiction, which is appropriate as I feel I am conquering my addiction to food and drink in the change process I am in.

Title: Happiness is a warm gun

Artist: The Beatles

Album: White album

Year: 1968

She's not a girl who misses much

Do do do do do do do do

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand

Like a lizard on a window pane

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots

Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime

A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the Nation Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

Down to the bits that I left uptown

I need a fix cause I'm going down

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the gun

Mother Superior jump the

Happiness is a warm gun

Happiness is a warm gun

When I hold you in my arms

And I feel my finger on your trigger

I know no one can do me no harm

Because happiness is a warm gun

Yes it is

Day 1 (Phase 2) - This is the time ( phase 2 of my life plan)

So after the momentous day yesterday I embark on phase 2 of my life changing plan. The 'route to management', where I learn and understand the basis for maintaining and living with a way of life in respect of food and drink in a practical way.

I will be eating 'real food' for the first time tonight, in the form of a small tin of tuna chunks, but the significance of this moment cannot be lost.

This new phase brings a renewed determination and re-sets the bar to a new goal for me. I am up for the challenge and ready to fight for my new life.

This is indeed the time.....

Title: This is the time

Artist: Billy Joel

Album: The bridge

Year: 1986

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel

They're tearing it down now

But it's just as well

I haven't shown you everything a man can do

So stay with me baby

I got plans for you

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life

Some kind of miracle that I survived

Some day we will both look back

And have to laugh

We lived through a lifetime

And the aftermath

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

I know we've gotta move somehow

But I don't want to lose you now

Sometimes it's so easy to let a day slip on by

Without even seeing each other at all

But this is the time you'll turn back to and so will I

And those will be days you can never recall

And so we embrace again behind the dunes

This beach is so cold on winter afternoons

Ah, but holding you close is like holding the summer sun

I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember

'Cause it will not last forever

These are the days to hold on to

'Cause we won't although we'll want to

This is the time

But time is gonna change

You've given me the best of you

But now I need the rest of you

Day 112 - I don't know how I'm gonna tell you

I have spent the last two weeks preparing myself for moving to 'management' and returning to eating food again! Whilst I have a good view on how and what to manage my drink intake, food is still a concern and area of the unknown to me.

I don't know how I will feel and how I will react to the changes I know I need to make to my eating habits. Actually, it is not that I don't know, it is more that I don't know if I will get satisfaction and be happy with this. I find this quite scary actually. For the first time since I started the program, I have a few doubts on my long term ability to manage my life in this respect.

It is these concerns that makes me certain that I will run the full 'route to management' course with LL as I think I will need support and someone to bounce ideas off and give me suggestions on ways to manage this process of change.

What I do know is that I am ready for a change in my program and ready to embark on a new phase to my life change program. Having started sceptical about 'abstinence' and whether I could lost what I needed, I have proven to myself that I can do that, so I am ready for a new challenge. This is the one.

Anyway, after a two week break (as I was away for last week's weigh in) I was looking forward to seeing where I was this week, from a weight perspective. So......

The good news is I have lost a further 7.7lb and now have lost over 6 stone and my weight is below 12.5 stone and my BMI is 24.87, i.e. in the NORMAL range for the first time in many many years! Hooray!

Moving into 'route to management' after today and learning how to say to food and drink "I can't play with you no more" .

Before/after photos coming next week!

Title: That's the way
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: Led Zeppelin III
Year: 1970

I don't know how I'm gonna tell you,
I can't play with you no more,
I don't know how I'm gonna do what mama told me,
My friend, the boy next door.
I can't believe what people saying,
You're gonna let your hair hang down,
I'm satisfied to sit here working all day long,
You're in the darker side of town.

And when I'm out I see you walking,
Why don't your eyes see me?
Could it be you've found another game to play,
What did mama say to me?

That's The Way,
Oh, That's The Way it oughtta be, yeah, yeah, Mama say
That's The Way it oughtta stay, yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh

And yesterday I saw you standing by the river,
And weren't those tears that filled your eyes?
And all the fish that lay in dirty water dying,
Had they got you hypnotized?

And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers,
But all that lives is born to die.
And so I say to you that nothing really matters,
And all you do is stand and cry.

I don't know what to say about it,
When all your ears are turned away,
But now's the time to look and look again at what you see,
Is that the way it ought to stay?

That's the way...
That's the way it oughtta be, oh don't you know now,
Mama said, mama said... that's the way it's gonna stay, yeah. ahh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhh